If I were to write a book, I would have to get up before 5 every morning. Seriously, the best time to formulate uncluttered thoughts for me happens in a very small window, and that window is just so early.
On that note, over the past two days, David and I watched "Gone With the Wind" for the first time. It was so interesting to watch it as an adult (I've watched bits and pieces as a young girl, but never could keep myself focused long enough to even remember the plot as an adult). For one thing, so many quotes I know come from that movie! It's crazy. Countless girls and women have the quote "You should be kissed, and kissed often by someone who knows how," glittering their Facebook pages, and who knew! It's in "Gone With the Wind." (I guess I should have).
So, there we were, sitting on our couch with melting chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven dripping on our hands (we ate them for the entire four hours... not really, but we wanted to), watching in horror as the plot unfolded. We had no idea the movie would do such a riveting job of displaying the depth of human character. I suppose that's the main reason the movie is so famous. The whole time I was watching, I was angry. Angry with the deception and the hypocrisy of Scarlett, and angry with the weakness and denial of Ashley. Mostly I was angry with the selfishness of both characters as the destruction in their lives mounted. I seriously had to remind myself it was a movie.
Basically, what I am saying, whether I want to admit it or not, was that I was hooked. You don't have to fall in love with something to be captured by it, and that was just my plight. I think the main thing that made me uncomfortable is that I saw myself in all those ways. I know that the heart is deceitfully wicked, and that if anyone decides to be honest... truly honest with themselves about the reasons they do things, the negative characteristics I mentioned that seem to consume these fictional characters apply very directly to us all. We are all deeply flawed, but who wants to be reminded of that? No one. Especially not me last night. It's so strange that a movie could make you wrestle with real things, but God works in many ways, so there I was wrestling. I was wrestling with self-righteousness, mainly. It felt so good to watch a movie like that and think, "Thank God I'm not that screwed up." Well, guess what? But for God's grace and His blood payment, I am entirely that screwed up!!! Feels good to get that off your chest, right?! As long as there's hope for something else. No one wants to come to the realization that they are infinitely more jacked than they ever realized without having some semblance of hope placed in front of them.
And seriously... THANKS BE TO THE GOD WHO SAVES!!! He knows our plight, and He graciously accepted us as we are before paying the price for all of our failures. But He didn't only pay the price for us so we could keep on living in this horrible nightmare of self-consumed living! He paid so we could become a new people. THIS, my friend is the power of Christ's blood! He loved us before we loved Him. Wow... it really does just blow my mind. So this is the weird outcome of my thoughts from watching a movie about southern belle's and the Civil War. A little over-dramatic to be sure, but hey, at least I've come to terms with being that way. It's not soon to be changed I'm sure. :)