Wednesday, February 17, 2010

For All You Engaged

Hello Readers! (if you exist)

Just two short months ago, I and my sweet husband vowed to become a permanent part of each other's lives "for better or for worse." The road has not yet been long, but it has been full. Life seems to be flashing forward in quick scenes, so I am hoping to document some of it by way of this blog. If nothing else, I will have written down memories that may eventually escape me. I even wish I had begun writing during our engagement, so if you ARE happily engaged (although engagement seemed to D and I to be absolute torture), start writing now! You will want to remember those times, torturous as they may seem.

Lately I find myself looking back fondly on the ache and the longing I once felt so keenly. To feel so strongly is a gift, though painful at times. It is sweet to remember the ache. We could barely wait for December 12th, the day when our relationship would be complete. Or so we thought. Having been married only two months, the first few days of marriage seem so shallow compared to the rest of our life. I expect things to continue this way; life continues on, all the while growing deeper in meaning and authentic love.

In the Word of God, we are taught to save ourselves physically for marriage for a myriad of reasons, but one of them comes to my mind at the moment. Sex was designed to create a bond that lasts much longer than one night, one week, or even several years. It was meant to be a part of life, not an escape from it. It took me a little bit of time to adjust to the reality that our relationship did not become fully developed in an instant merely because I donned a white dress, and D and I exchanged rings. The reality of sex in marriage is so much greater than the lie that has been fed to us so generously. It is meant for becoming one, but it seems the more time that passes, the more "one" we become.

How can I convey the findings we have uncovered? D and I both wish we could have been more prepared, but we had amazing mentors, so we wonder if it is even possible to understand before you arrive. You can hear something over and over again, and understand it in your head, but sometimes it just takes your arrival to understand fully what was being told to you.

For all you engaged (or dating, or single!)... you must tread by faith in the wake of those who have gone before you. You must believe and heed the warnings you receive without a full understanding. I am so thankful for the warnings I received, because while I did not fully understand them, I lived as closely to them as I thought I could, and this has saved me much heartache and suffering. The warnings I disregarded have lead me down paths of hurt and I would spare you those hurts.

Well, that is all for now! I'm not sure what the rest of this blog will look like, but I suppose we'll find out as it takes it's shape!

Au revoir!

1 comment:

  1. Rach,

    I love this blog, and I am so happy you're making a blog of your newlywed years. With our wedding fast approaching I often contemplate starting a blog to talk about our first years in marriage. I love how you talk about how no matter what advice and warnings you receive you cannot understand them until you live it. Being engaged I have of course received this same advice and warnings and Ben and I spend a lot of time talking about them and praying over them, hoping they will help us to be prepared. But in the end, we know we can't know what to expect until the days of marriage have arrived!