In the hustle and bustle of the past few days, I haven't taken much time to think about how I feel, but lately I've been in sort of a scrambled state. This morning I felt myself wishing D would somehow let me know that everything is going ok... you know, let me know if I'm doing a good job and if he's satisfied and happy with the way I am... his wife. He never gave me a reason to doubt his satisfaction or happiness, but today I just needed something extra. You know those days?
But how can you express that to the one closest to you? You really can't ask, "Hey baby, why don't you leave me a little note on the table today telling me you love me," and to ask "hey, am I doing a good job?" is a silly way to fish for whatever you're needing, right? That's what I was thinking, so I said nothing, except for asking him to help me make a daily schedule since I've been so scrambled lately. I had even dismissed this desire for something extra and gone on happily through the rest of the day. That is, until I just checked my e-mail. There at the top of my inbox was an e-mail from D's e-mail address, the Subject Line reading, "25 Things I Love About My Wife." My pulse quickened as I clicked the message open and began to read. How did I end up in a heap of tears? I'm still not sure, but these 25 simple things touched me so tenderly. My eyes welled up until I could no longer see the computer screen, even though I was only about half way through.
Marriage will not make a person happy. I am learning that. It takes two content people to have a happy marriage. When I am content with what the Lord has given and I am faithful in the small things, my husband has his chance to sweep me off my feet. I am so thankful for these simple sweet days.
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i have to tell you that even though R and i aren't married yet, i feel like this a lot. knowing that i'm his first girlfriend, i worry that he isn't happy with me. that i dont make him happy enough. or that i dont do enough to make him happy. or that i nag him too much. I find myself wanting him to say or do something to let me know that he loves me as much as i love him. but several weeks ago, we had a talk about this. and come to find out, we were both feeling the same way. we were both worried so much that the other wasnt happy with us that we had poisoned our happiness with that worry. we still struggle, and find it hard to talk about stuff, but we both try to let the other know how much we love each other multiple times a day.
ReplyDeleteand its funny/amazing how God works. you're longing for something and even thou you dismiss it and go on about your way, know's the desires of your heart and he always comes through. even though he doesn't have to.
and i really like your point that it takes two content people to have a happy marriage.
You know, sometimes our partner's silence is not such a bad thing. Not hearing every night at the dinner table that what we are serving is "delicious"; or getting confirmation that he appreciates finding clean underwear all neatly folded in his bureau...doesn't mean that he isn't happy and content.
ReplyDeleteSaying "I love you" means a lot, but SHOWING someone you love them means so much more!! After 22+ years of marriage to TacCom, I have learned that what we DO for each other far outweighs the words of confirmation we convey to one another. Yes, it's nice to hear the words, "I love you and you are doing a great job", but in the end, it's the actions that speak much louder than the words.
Don't get me wrong, communication is key in a marriage...but it doesn't have to be constant confirmation...just keep on talking about everything! Make sense?
Rach, I am so glad you are blogging! I feel very much out of touch now that I'm off facebook...thanks for keeping in touch with me this way and with the phone calls! I love you, niece!!